Child (dragon) born on 11/11/11 named Dovahkiin, bullies cower in fear

Maybe you thought nobody would take up Bethesda on its offer to reward anyone who named a child born on 11/11/11 “Dovahkiin” with a lifetime supply of Bethesda games, to mark the birth of its latest RPG opus, Skyrim. Well, you were wrong and that’s something both you, and 8 pound, 1/2 ounce Dovahkiin Tom Kellermeyer, will have to live with. The day before the delivery, the young warrior’s mother wrote, “We’ve toyed with Dovahkiin and the ramifications of naming a child that name, and that name being based on a video game character (however awesome), and what impact that would have on him. But the more I thought of it, the more I settled on Dovahkiin, contest or no.”

Congratulations to the Kellermeyers and, especially, to young Dovakhiin. Internet wisdom says you’re going to be bullied, but we’ve got an alternative point of view: Like a boy named Sue, you’re going to “have to get tough or die and it’s the name that helped to make you strong.” And by strong, we mean you can shout people to death. Be gentle.